As a kid I remember sitting in Catholic school class and they would treat all of us once a week to a radio broadcast over the loudspeaker. They always played a broadcast of someone reading a story like a serial soap opera. Trying something new this time, I am posting part of a short story I have written here. It is not as much of a serial event like those radio programs I heard as a kid, but this is the first part of a two part blog. Stay tuned next week for the ending...Enjoy!
The Wayfarer's Journey to Happiness
I needed a new word for tired. My legs were sore, my feet ached,
and my heart was heavy. This journey was
long and I was lost. I did not know how much longer this trek would take or
even where I would end up. All I knew
was that I wanted home. I didn't know if
I would even recognize home at this point but, I wasn't going to give up or
give in. I felt an exhaustion course through me like I have never felt before.
It was not because of the long journey but because it was a hard journey.
I stopped next to a creek bed to rest. I was so thirsty and my stomach grumbled with
hunger. I dipped my hand into the cool water and raised it to my lips. The cold liquid slid down my throat and I
could feel its whole path through my body. It filled my empty stomach enough
for me to stand back up to start back on my quest for home.
As I turned back to the path I saw a man staring at me
through the trees on the other side of the road. There was nothing outstanding
about this man. He was short with only thin wisps of dark hair strategically
placed over a balding head. He was portly and even his drab, dirty robes, which
looked as if they were made from scratchy material, could not hide this
fact. He had a round Asiatic face but
even from the distance I could see the light of intelligence in his eyes. As I neared the road, and got closer to the
man, I saw that he was older than I initially thought. The light in his eyes was youthful but it was
difficult to see up close given the layer of dirt and grime and the wrinkles
which showed a long, hard life.
He stood across from me with a sly grin now on his face
pointed in my direction, a twinkle in his eyes, his hands clasped over his rounded
center, but he did not say a word. I
finally gave a shrug of my shoulders, whispering under my breath, “little
weirdo.” I turned to head down the road
again when I heard him clear his throat and in a clear, loud voice he asked if
I wanted to find happiness. I answered
without thinking as I tried to continue walking, “Of course.”
“Do you know if you are on the right path?”
I was tired and cranky and the old man was now blocking my
path so I snapped in response, “What is this some kung fu, samurai, voodoo
crap? Does anyone ever know really if
they are on the right path? I do know one thing. You are blocking the path I am on and need to
get out of my way.”
The smile never left the old man's face, even after my rude
response which I started to regret the moment the words left my mouth. I shrank back in disgust when I saw the
discoloration of his teeth and the large gap on the bottom where two were missing.
Who was this man? He was dirty, bedraggled, wrinkled, short, and just stood
there grinning. I put my hand to my head
which still hadn't stopped its constant pounding and aching to try and massage
away the pain in hopes that my thoughts about this man would become clearer.
He rose up and down on the balls of his feet and gave a
laugh. “Ah...so you are on a life
quest. We all take those at times in our
lives, even if we don't realize it.”
“I am not on a damn life quest. I really just want to get home.” I said as I
felt exhaustion creep over my body. “Who
are you anyway?”
“My name is To-dai.”
“Today?”
“No no. To-dai.” He
responded giving a chuckle. “And, where
is home?”
This question made me uncomfortable. I started to shuffle my
feet and look at the ground. Finally I just gave a shrug of my shoulders and
said, “I don't know.” Before he could
react though I quickly stated, “But I will know it when I get there.”
His face became unreadable as his brows knit together and he
put his splayed fingers up to his mouth as if in deep thought. He started to nod his head and then finally
said, “Good, good.”
He started to finally step aside shuffling out of my
way. I gave him one more strange look
and then hoisted my pack higher up my shoulder, feeling its weight and started
to pass by him. I got only a few feet
when I heard him call out, “Life quests have many obstacles to get
through. There may be war, famine,
heartache, mountains, oceans, rain, snow, and indifference. We are all on a life quest. In the end we all
reach home, scarred, changed, and for the soldier, stronger. You will get
home. Follow this path you are on and
you will find all of that. Turn around
and follow this other path and you may not.
You have to choose. Will you
choose the path that may leave just a pebble in your shoe to worry about or
will you choose the path that will lead you over mountains, valleys and
oceans?”
I started looking down one way and then the other. Both of the roads looked the same to me. They had cracks and potholes and were
tree-lined. Nothing stood out different
from one side to the other. There was no
sign with arrows pointing, “This way for an easy trail” with an opposite arrow
that said, “This way for a painful trek.”
I once again just gave a shake of my head and thought, “Why am I
listening to a crazy old man anyway?”
I continued to walk down the road that I had started. After a while I peered over my shoulder but
the old man was gone. I put the conversation out of my mind and just continued with
my travels.
The sun started to rise higher in the sky and I had already
sopped through the first sweat rag I had in my pack. I felt sticky and wet and knew I needed to
find some shade quick. The tree lined
paths from earlier were gone and now the terrain was barren and empty except
for dust and sand, all of which was broiling under the sun along with me. I
felt alone except for the bugs that flew in my face or I saw crawling along the
ground which I tried to avoid.
Each step seemed harder to take than the previous one. I knew my energy was fading and I needed to
eat and drink some water and take a brief rest to gather my resources
again. I rounded a bend feeling the
weight of my pack like it was full of large rocks instead of supplies. Around the bend I saw a small grove of thin
trees. I mustered up enough reserved
energy to reach the grove and proceeded to lie on the ground for a few minutes
in fatigue. The trees did not offer
much cover from the sun that was beating down on me but the rest I was taking
was much needed and I felt some of my strength slowly come back to me. There was a slight breeze that I also felt on
my face and I leaned toward it letting the little bit of cool air dry me off
and refresh me. I finally sat back up
and opened my pack, pulling out a canteen of water gulping it greedily. The one nagging fear that came into my mind
was that I did not know when I would be able to refill my canteen again and
knew I should conserve the water when I can.
I slowly dug through my pack again until I found some
ready-made food. The ache in my stomach
felt like such a permanent condition that I almost didn't notice it
anymore...almost. I took a bite and then
gobbled up my food like I hadn't eaten in days.
It really had only been half a day but the full stomach now actually
left me a bit nauseous. I took one smaller
sip of water trying to conserve and it settled my stomach down.
As I was putting the canteen back in my pack I was startled
by a loud explosion in the distance. I
almost fell to the ground in shock and fear.
My senses were instantly on alert.
In the distance I saw a fire creep over the land like a bright,
slow-moving snail. I started hearing a “Pop!
Pop!” in the distance. I quickly
gathered my things and started running down the road thinking I was running
away from whatever was occurring nearby.
I wasn't. I was running towards
it. The noises around me and my fear and adrenaline had me turned around. I rounded another bend and saw men with
weapons. They were holding their rifles
tight and pointed. The weapons reminded
me of the M1 Grand I've seen in pictures with my grandfather who fought in
World War II.
I instantly froze and then went to turn on my heels when I
was pulled suddenly from behind. A young
man that looked only about nineteen years old thrust a weapon in my hand.
“Here. Shoot. We are being overrun.”
“No, no, no. I can't
shoot. I don't know what to do.” I
yelled at him as he was running off.
He looked over his shoulder and simply said, “If you see red
uniforms and it is moving...shoot it!”
I started to shake. I
was not a hunter. I did not grow up playing guns. I grew up reading classics
and playing with dolls. I knew I had to get through this area to reach my
destination. I did not know why I knew this but I did. I was on a path and
unfortunately this trail led me here.
I hid behind a tree and tried to think about how to stay
safe and get through. I peeked slowly around the corner keeping my weapon ready
to shoot but out of sight enough that no one could see it if they were looking
at my hiding place. Nearby I heard a twig snap and my attention instantly
became alert. I needed to know if it was
the enemy or a friendly. I stole another
peak around the corner and saw a flash of red move. Without even thinking, I put the weapon to my
shoulder. I did not think other than to
notice what was around me. I did not
waver other than to try to keep my mind hyper focused on the enemy ahead. I waited, and then, I saw them inch closer in
sight. I counted out three seconds as he
neared my position and then inhaled and held my breath, flew around the tree
and put my finger on the trigger and SHOT!
I don't think I breathed for a full minute after I shot. The
pounding I thought was from the sound of the gun was actually the adrenaline
ringing through my ears. The man fell to
the ground. I walked over to his
lifeless body, making sure he was not fooling me in any way by playing opossum.
I put my boot to his side and I gave a swift kick. He lie face down on the
ground and did not make a sound. That is
when I noticed the pool of blood forming under him and I realized the
consequence of my actions in disbelief.
Before I could register any of this though I heard steps behind me and
swung the gun around ready to defend my life. “No! We are friendlies.”
I instantly swung my gun up and then fell back against the
tree. The feel of the hard bark digging
into my back and the strength of the wide based tree supported me for a moment
while I tried to gather my thoughts into some normal calmer pattern again
instead of a chaotic mess. I heard the solider approach me.
“Who are you? What are you doing in a war zone where you
shouldn’t be? Are you crazy?” He scolded like I was a misbehaving child.
“No…no…I guess…I was lost.” I stammered in response. “I am
trying to find my way and the path brought me here. I did not expect to have to battle in a war.
I did not expect to have to fight my way through a forest just to get back onto
my trail. I truly thought it would just be a straight way with a few turns
maybe…not war.”
The solider studied my face for a moment. There was something oddly disconcerting about
the way he stared at me. It was as if he
was trying to hear beyond my words and see through me to discover if I were
leaving out a truth.
“Life has a way of doing that to us doesn’t it? Come on.
Follow me. I know a hidden way to the edge of the encampment that will
take you to safer and higher ground. Walk fast though. I can’t be loitering
with you all day.”
He started to march through the trees and swift was exactly
how he moved. I practically had to run
to keep pace with him. I felt myself
start to breathe hard. “What did you mean by ‘life has a way of doing that to
us’?” I managed to gasp out the words,
now fighting for a breath.
He stopped and looked at me with that hard look again. I did
not care this time though. I was just enjoying the brief break from his fast
pace and put my hand up onto a nearby tree as I pulled air into my lungs hoping
to lessen the breathless gasping I had been doing.
He handed me a canteen of water which I gulped at greedily
and he answered as I drank. “No one expects to be faced with a battle or a
war. Everyone leads their life on a path
and hope that it is straight and sunny and there are never any obstacles. War happens though. You don’t plan for it. You can try to skirt around the edge of it to
avoid it, you can run away and hide, or you can face it and head into the
battle. You can snatch up your guns and
you can shoot at your enemy all while turning off the emotional side of
yourself and turning on the survival side.
That is war. The strong are the
ones that battle and, yes, sometimes lose, but at least do not stop or hide but
run in and face the enemy.”
I stood slowly taking in his words, looking down as I did to
the gun that remained in my grip and which I held in front of me for
protection. I was again feeling less
labored in breathing, I took one more gulp of water and handed him back the
canteen. He spun on his heel and head
back down what was now barely a path. We
were moving under low hanging branches, obstructed by large roots in the
ground, the areas where sunlight could not reach were soggy and wet, and the
leaves made me slip a few times forcing me to grab onto the closest branches I
could find.
We finally seemed to come upon a tree line and he pushed me
to the ground into a kneeling position and raised his fingers to his lips for
me to remain still. He peeked through
the thick bush slowly making barely any movement so that the enemy would not be
alerted to our presence. He finally felt
secure that there was no one around and gave me a nod.
We stood up and headed out of the cover of the forest. “I did not think the enemy would be
here. They are far up the hill top where
most of the fighting is currently, but you can never be too careful of the
reconnaissance teams. See this creek
bed. Walk close to it and follow it for
about four miles. It will run and lead
you to a small lake. That is where you
can take up on the road again. That road
will continue away from the fighting and your path should be much easier
now. Remain at constant alert though
until you hit the road. Here, take this
also. It will protect you from the
sun.” He handed me a dark scarf which I
tied around my head.
I gave the man a smile and then felt an indescribable urge
and found myself pulling him into a hug.
“Thank you so much. I don’t know
if I could have gotten out of there alive without you.”
“He gave me a slow easy grin. “You would have been
fine. Now take care. I must return to my
men.”
He turned to head back into the forest, although I suspected
he was kneeling out of sight watching to make sure I made it down the
creek. I walked along the edge of it for
a couple minutes and turned to look over my shoulder to see if I could notice
him. When I turned back I heard a shot
echo through the whole forest. It made
me jump and the birds in the trees in unison flew off in loud, winged fear. I wanted to run back to check on the solider
whose name I never even got, but who I felt a kinship to after he selflessly
led me to safety. In my heart I was
fearful of finding out that the shot was not made by him. I also knew that I should not turn back but
run.
My head suddenly screamed one thought at me as I started to
see a shadow of red through the trees…”RUN!”
And, that is just what I did. I
ran and dodged the trees, keeping close to the creek line as my guide. After about ten minutes I did not hear anyone
follow me. I also noticed the creek bed getting
wider and wider and knew I was getting close to the lake. I stopped and hid behind a bush gathering my
wits and my breath once again. The sun
was falling in the sky now and I knew that I would have to find shelter soon.
My heart ached when I thought of the dead solider, who may not have died if he
were not helping or concerned for my safety.
This was a loss I could not understand.
Pushing aside this type of thinking for now to focus on the
challenge I had ahead of me, I leaned over and filled my canteen. My stomach
began to make loud noises in protest as I realized I was again hungry and water
was not filling that void anymore. I
kept myself hidden within the trees except for when I had to go out for water
at the creek. I would always take my
rifle with me then and remain vigilant as I searched the landscape. I started to wonder if I was just being
foolish now or, if once you learn the need for vigilance you can never fully
return to peaceful naivety. I sat down
and pulled my bag closer to me. I
rummaged through it until I again found a sandwich wrapped in paper and some
fruit. It was not much but it will tie me over for now.
The sun was falling and losing its own battle now to the
dark night. The night falling usually
made me fearful of what was out there. I
was scared of the unknown and what could happen to me. After my small battle and actions of the day,
I realized I was not afraid of the night anymore. Instead, I found a comfort in it. It protected me from sight of the enemy and
it allowed me to seek shelter and rest.
I laid my head down with my bag propped under it like a pillow and I
fell into an exhaustive, fitful sleep.
The next morning it was the rising of the early morning sun
sweeping over my face which woke me from a deep, exhausting sleep. I started
out early and managed to find the lake the solider mentioned after an hour and
I knew the road was close by. I filled
my canteen, not knowing when I would have the opportunity along this trail
again, and I ate a morning snack of blueberries which I found growing near the
lake. It was not much but it would give
me the small boost of energy until mid-day.
I veered to the left and climbed up a small craggy hill and at the top I
was again planted onto the road.
I looked back down over where I have already traveled and
marveled at the enormity of what I had been through and survived. I must be close to home now after all of
that, right? With that small hope I
turned back to the road and continued my trek home.
I continued walking all day without any major incidents like
the previous day, one foot in front of the other, the sun beating down on me
hard by mid-afternoon. I stopped periodically
to rest and dry out from the heat. I realized I had to take more frequent rests
than when I started on my journey and it was slowing me down.
The terrain began to change a bit by the early
afternoon. It was becoming more elevated
and difficult to maneuver in my fatigued state.
I could see mountains in the distance and hoped that I would not have to
climb over any and this trail would cut through them instead. There were clouds forming overhead and I knew
a storm was fast approaching. I started
to look for any kind of shelter as I walked, but only found tree lines or hilly,
craggy fields.
I reached the top of another long, winding incline, fighting
for breath I stopped. I had to put my
hands on my knees and my head down until I could breathe normally again. As I stood up I gasped and almost fell
backwards. There in front of me was the
small mountain I was hoping to avoid. I knew
I had been nearing it, having marveled at the beauty of the mountains in the
distance, but here it was presented before me, blocking my straight and
peaceful journey I had most of that day.
I knew it was either find a way around it, which could take so much
longer or find the strength to climb it, which I did not have at the moment. I wanted
to just lie down on the ground and cry.
Instead, I looked up into the sky for an answer and felt the
first drop of rain hit me in the face. I
knew I wouldn’t be climbing that mountain today with the storm now almost upon
me. It was late afternoon and based on
the darkness of the clouds in the sky this was going to be a storm of large
size. I needed somewhere to ride it out
in safety.
I moved fast as I edged closer to the mountain. A small recess off to the side caught my
attention in the corner of my eye. I moved
some of the branches and brush aside and saw a small cave. Just at that moment, I was startled by a loud
clap of thunder that sounded more like the Earth were breaking apart. Without thinking of what was inside, I crawled
into the hole, feeling the hard packed ground on my knees. I settled with my back against one wall, put
my knees up, and buried my face.
It was only a matter of moments before the sky opened up and
rain poured down in a sheet. I had found
shelter in the nick of time. I usually
loved the sound of storms and the bigger and wilder the better. I sat there and listened to the music of the
storm outside so full of rage and wildness.
Yet, invading my enjoyment of the sounds was the nagging dread of the mountain
in my way. I knew the only way was to
climb over the mountain. The storm
outside did not give me energy like listening to a storm normally did. I felt tiredness hit me that was not
physical. I sank back, closed my eyes, and knew I better rest now. I had a hard trek ahead of me and will need
all of my strength for this one.
TO BE CONTINUED.......
