I have received a few comments recently that I have not posted anything to my blog in a while. I do apologize to my avid readers, which are mostly family members I am sure given the ease of comments. When Spring comes to the area my life is no longer my own but devoted completely to work and my full time job. This means that my writing has suffered as well. I equate it to having an energy crisis.
An energy crisis physically means you did not get much sleep and fight with all of your strength to get through your day. An energy crisis globally means there is not enough natural resources to furnish a nation. An energy crisis at work could mean that you are stretched beyond your limits with too many projects. I am suffering from a creativity crisis. For me that has meant that I am stretched beyond my limits at work and even in my personal life that my creative tasks and processes have suffered greatly.
I have a major conference approaching, my son's birthday, major work projects with looming deadlines, Easter and Mother's Day and all of this means that my writing has suffered a bit. I am after all a writer with a full-time job as well as being a single mother. It is amazing when you breakdown your existence how much work that a person can fit into a small twenty four hours a day with hopefully at least six of those spent sleeping.
I will say that I am almost finished with Chapter Fourteen. I do have a bit of medical research to do. Anyone that knows me will tell you that I am not a science person. I hate science, always have. I never had to do a science fair project in school. I thank my Dad for that. If we didn't move at key points in my life I would have had to. Yet, here I am with chapter fourteen nearing completion and I am stuck because of SCIENCE. Ironically I am raising a son who absolutely adores science. Unfortunate for me though he is still a bit young and unable to truly help me. That, and he is not a doctor. I probably could have finished the chapter but for the fact that the science of it has left me bereft of interest and in a "creative crisis".
There I go again, worrying about the creative crisis that has invaded. We often create our own crisis. Once I finish chapter fourteen the major action of the story will start to really kick up a notch and the idea of that can be daunting. It is a bit like being a mountain climber standing at the bottom of Mount Everest. I usually give myself small goals so I do not think of the major task of finishing a novel. In my attempts to avoid the medical research I think I have scared myself by making the task more of a mountain that it needs to be and preventing me from continuing to finish my novel. It is a form of self-sabotage of course.
It is also easy to do when you feel stretched beyond your limits everywhere else. Instead of just plunging head first into the crisis we sometimes think of it in terms of a giant task instead of a small step by step accomplishment. Outlines or even lists are often good ways of preventing the thought of the big task. Yet, here I had been sitting for over a week and my novel had become one of the giants in my life. So yesterday I took a step back and took a few short breaths. After I finished hyperventilating and regained consciousness I knew that I was my own giant and the creative crisis we sometimes come across is really the giant monster of ourselves that lives within.
Everyone has those monsters that sit inside and whisper nasty comments in your ear like little goblins until you are defeated. The real challenge during a creative crisis is gathering the strength to defeat those monsters. That can only be done one word at a time. Putting your pen to paper and simply just writing one word, one line, one paragraph and one page at a time. It doesn't have to be on the novel either. Maybe by putting down the novel and writing a short story or poem or finding a different creative project that keeps the juices flowing so that when you pick that novel back up you have feel more relaxed and with a full supply of creativity.
So, I set down my novel and I plotted out a cute short story. I wrote out this blog. I did some sewing and relaxing with my son. I can say, not too loudly since I do have my big conference approaching, that I may have solved this creativity crisis...for now.
