The Truth About Being A Writer

The door opens slowly with a creak.  Are you leaving into the daylight and the unknown? As you pull the door slowly shut and hear the click of the latch, you feel an extra beat of your heart at the unknown.  What will the day bring?  Can I get through this? Is this routine or will the air electrify with something new? There so many times in our lives when we have to leave home. We walk out that door either facing adventures or routines or the unknown. We hear the door close behind us with a click of the lock and we step out.  Sometimes though the door shuts out the creative and leaves only a day of routine or worse the stank air of downward spiralling emotions.

Baby, unemployment, death, grief, depression and the return of old friends. This has been what my year has been. As those of you who read my blog may have noticed there has been a silence for a year. No posts, no news, no writings to entice nor inform. There is a truth about being a writer that many may not comprehend. At least there is a truth about this writer. Writers live, work, and breath in words and characters and stories but also emotions. When life slides downhill into more of a darkness then the writer can either find inspiration to pull themselves out and reach some understanding of what is happening or they become mired in the emotions that prevent the words from landing on paper.

This year was one of those times when it was a swirl of emotions that ran like a cacophony in my head. The sound of them pushing out the characters and stories that became friends. Sometimes a writer has to face the stark realities of life swirling around them and not revel in the stories of their characters as they watch the words fall on the paper. The emotions of their characters have no space inside the imagination with all the emotions that are reality being faced instead.

Some realities are good. When a baby is born and you watch each day as they grow.  You marvel at the beginnings of a little human struggle and learn to do the basics like roll over, sit up, and stand. You get to experience the absolute joy of their first laugh which will always remain the most melodious sound no matter how old your child gets. However, there is also the roller coaster heading down when you are unemployed, suffer the loss of a family member, and live with anxiety of the future.  Taking care of a new baby while also looking for a job became the sole existence to my days.  It left no time for writing. What little time was left was often spent dulling the brain and anything creative can not pass when that wall is up.

That is not to say that life has to be perfect for a writer to succeed.  There needs to be a level mix often. Writers often write to let go of pain, to understand anxiety, and to release the negatives through characters that become a proxy for their pain.  However, for anyone who has hiked up a hill or mountain can attest; the hard path up will eventually give way so that you have to hike easily down.  You may still have a pebble in your show or an obstacle in your path but you are no longer stretching your muscles to get through the upward climb.

The truth about being a writer is that inspiration can come from anywhere but if you are in the quicksand of emotions you can not move your arms to write and express yourself.  Sometimes you have to wait until someone comes along and offers that branch for you to grab onto to then pull yourself out.  I am again clinging to that branch. So, now when I walk out my door there is expectations of unknown possibilities and when I sit down I can now revel in the words that have flown over the wall to begin writing again.  All I can say is...Welcome Back!