Writing is like playing a game show.
When I was growing up I remember my mom watching the Price Is Right or Jeopardy or even Wheel of Fortune. I always was curious when you had to pick a prize behind one of three doors what the other prizes were. Typically though, if you picked door number three you would get to see what you missed out on and what was behind doors one and two.
Writing can often feel as if you are picking the prize behind generic door number three but never getting to see what was behind doors number one and two. There are so many decisions that run through a writers head as the words fall upon the page. These decisions can be instantaneous or they can be plotted out and deliberate. When you write these decisions that by the end of a chapter or the story could have an impact on the outcome or the vision of the story. Behind door number three you get a character with long dark hair, tall and smart. You get a trip to Romania and DC and you get the storyline of being haunted by memories. Yet, what if my story were set in Germany in 1962 or the character was illiterate or the family were open and friendly and close versus sinister and manipulative. What if my main character were a male who played sports or was fat and sat in front of the TV all day or a grandmother or a child....these choices are endless. Often, these may be the choices behind door number two.
When you watched those game shows they never let you change your mind AFTER you selected and saw what was behind door number three. You had to stick with your decision. This is not uncommon with writing. Your story may change from your initial outline but as the story flows you are making decisions to keep everything moving. When editing you can remove a minor character but that is again another decision. In truth, as you are writing you have to commit to your main characters and locations. This allows you to form relationships with your characters to the point that they appear real to you. If a character feels real to you then the chances are better they will feel real to the reader. This could also mean that you may have to do a little research to add in landmarks on your locations but it will seem as if you were really there. Behind door number three is a fantastical trip to a far off land and yet you never have to leave your seat and you computer. You don't have to pack anything but your imagination.
That does in no manner negate all the work that goes into your story. In fact, if you think of that same game show format you will recall that you can't pick the ultimate prize without making it through the maze to the end of the game. Every chapter and progression is getting you to the final scene and so what is behind door number three...maybe a completed, finished work and there standing behind my door number three may be a publisher. Or, I can pick door number two and learn that I want to self-publish. Or, I can go with door number one and become a crazy lady with ten cats who dies and they find piles of manuscripts locked in a safe with my will that leaves everything to my cats... Writing is like playing a game show and selecting a prize door all the way through. The important part is committing to your decision and your story and whichever door you select there will be a prize because of your accomplishment of a finished novel.
Friday, June 27, 2014
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Read...Learn...Create. Thank You Maya Angelou!
Many who know me intimately know that Maeve Binchy was one of my favorite authors growing up. I have a few favorite childhood authors in fact because in my household reading was the foremost pastime. To name a few there was L.M. Montgomery, Beverly Cleary, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Julie Campbell Tatham and the list could go on and on. As I got older I discovered different genres like crime and mystery and couldn't get enough of Patricia Cornwell, John Grisham or James Patterson.
However, in honor of my father on this most recent father's day I must credit him with introducing me to so much more. I usually list my three most cherished memories of my father as riding our bikes all around town, listening and learning to appreciate the Beatles and my love of baseball. Yet, when I think of my Dad I also recall literature, not just books but classic literature. I credit him with introducing me to a literature that is considered classical and such authors as Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Shakespeare (of course), Mark Twain, and again I could go on and on.
He may not have realized at the time what introducing his like minded daughter to such classics would do. It opened my thinking of language. It expanded my world of expression and enriched my abilities of discourse beyond a teenager's slang. It also opened my thinking so that I could imagine those worlds that do not exist anymore but held a romanticism that I did not find in my own. Reading those classic stories, that still touch people today, influenced so much of how I learned to love words and discover my passion of writing. It opened my mind to poetry and rhythm of words, fiction that held characters still so real hundred years after pen to paper materialized them for the readers, and locations that became characters in their own right.
As a result of my father's influence, by the time I got to college I discovered so many other writers like Langston Hughes, Margaret Atwood, Allen Ginsberg and of course Maya Angelou. When Maeve Binchy passed away last July I was so saddened. I felt that I had lost a friend I had never met. All the characters she introduced me to and the idea of Ireland she portrayed seemed as if it had a dark shroud of mourning placed over it. This year Maya Angelou passed away and I again felt that same sadness. In many respects she was one of the biggest influences when I thought of being a writer. Her words of inspiration having touched so many people around the world was undeniable but it was her life that influenced me.
Often we have dreams that seem so epic and large that to really reach for them we instead become our own barrier. I have always wanted to write more than short stories and poems and start my own fiction novel. Yet, the dream became so large and mixed with my own internal doubts, it was as if I built a boulder that I could not lift or move that blocked my path. Then, I watched a simple interview of Maya Angelou one afternoon. She talked of her simple upbringing and yet her passion for writing . She spoke of the influences in her life and the trials she went through which she used to then share with the world what she learned and how she overcame each to reach happiness. A happiness that was discovered through writing and a passion for writing that was endless. It was as if she always had the stories inside of her knocking at the door of her mind but until she let go of some of her fears she could not unlock the door to let those stories out and put them on paper. In the end, it was the fears that held her back that also pushed her forward.
In honor of Maya Angelou and her influence on me I have found some of her most inspirational quotes about writing:
What I try to do is write. I may write for two weeks “the cat sat on the mat, that is that, not a rat.” And it might be just the most boring and awful stuff. But I try. When I’m writing, I write. And then it’s as if the muse is convinced that I’m serious and says, “Okay. Okay. I’ll come.”
There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
Making a decision to write was a lot like deciding to jump into a frozen lake.
Talent is like electricity. We don’t understand electricity. We use it.
Tell the truth and not the facts.
The writer has to take the most used, most familiar objects—nouns, pronouns, verbs, adverbs—ball them together and make them bounce, turn them a certain way and make people get into a romantic mood; and another way, into a bellicose mood. I'm most happy to be a writer.
I see a yellow pad, and my knees get weak, and I salivate.
Poetry is the strongest language we have.
And of course my favorite quote that I have never forgotten once I read it:
A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.
If I had to give anyone advice about writing it would be to first be a reader. Discover different authors and genres and formats. Try to emulate and then try to create. First learn as a spectator and then discover your own voice, words and story and you will stand out on your own. It took me a long time to get over my own fear of starting to write a novel. In that time though I was learning and reading and discovering. Once I was ready it was because of the influence and passion I could no longer deny to finally write my own novel. This in turn has led to an outpouring of ideas and creations to follow this first book. So if you are a writer...read and learn, then go out and create. The stories are inside of you just waiting to fall upon the page. As Maya Angelou taught us..."A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song." Unlock your song, or story, and let it sing.
However, in honor of my father on this most recent father's day I must credit him with introducing me to so much more. I usually list my three most cherished memories of my father as riding our bikes all around town, listening and learning to appreciate the Beatles and my love of baseball. Yet, when I think of my Dad I also recall literature, not just books but classic literature. I credit him with introducing me to a literature that is considered classical and such authors as Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Shakespeare (of course), Mark Twain, and again I could go on and on.
He may not have realized at the time what introducing his like minded daughter to such classics would do. It opened my thinking of language. It expanded my world of expression and enriched my abilities of discourse beyond a teenager's slang. It also opened my thinking so that I could imagine those worlds that do not exist anymore but held a romanticism that I did not find in my own. Reading those classic stories, that still touch people today, influenced so much of how I learned to love words and discover my passion of writing. It opened my mind to poetry and rhythm of words, fiction that held characters still so real hundred years after pen to paper materialized them for the readers, and locations that became characters in their own right.
As a result of my father's influence, by the time I got to college I discovered so many other writers like Langston Hughes, Margaret Atwood, Allen Ginsberg and of course Maya Angelou. When Maeve Binchy passed away last July I was so saddened. I felt that I had lost a friend I had never met. All the characters she introduced me to and the idea of Ireland she portrayed seemed as if it had a dark shroud of mourning placed over it. This year Maya Angelou passed away and I again felt that same sadness. In many respects she was one of the biggest influences when I thought of being a writer. Her words of inspiration having touched so many people around the world was undeniable but it was her life that influenced me.
Often we have dreams that seem so epic and large that to really reach for them we instead become our own barrier. I have always wanted to write more than short stories and poems and start my own fiction novel. Yet, the dream became so large and mixed with my own internal doubts, it was as if I built a boulder that I could not lift or move that blocked my path. Then, I watched a simple interview of Maya Angelou one afternoon. She talked of her simple upbringing and yet her passion for writing . She spoke of the influences in her life and the trials she went through which she used to then share with the world what she learned and how she overcame each to reach happiness. A happiness that was discovered through writing and a passion for writing that was endless. It was as if she always had the stories inside of her knocking at the door of her mind but until she let go of some of her fears she could not unlock the door to let those stories out and put them on paper. In the end, it was the fears that held her back that also pushed her forward.
In honor of Maya Angelou and her influence on me I have found some of her most inspirational quotes about writing:
What I try to do is write. I may write for two weeks “the cat sat on the mat, that is that, not a rat.” And it might be just the most boring and awful stuff. But I try. When I’m writing, I write. And then it’s as if the muse is convinced that I’m serious and says, “Okay. Okay. I’ll come.”
There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
Making a decision to write was a lot like deciding to jump into a frozen lake.
Talent is like electricity. We don’t understand electricity. We use it.
Tell the truth and not the facts.
The writer has to take the most used, most familiar objects—nouns, pronouns, verbs, adverbs—ball them together and make them bounce, turn them a certain way and make people get into a romantic mood; and another way, into a bellicose mood. I'm most happy to be a writer.
I see a yellow pad, and my knees get weak, and I salivate.
Poetry is the strongest language we have.
And of course my favorite quote that I have never forgotten once I read it:
A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.
If I had to give anyone advice about writing it would be to first be a reader. Discover different authors and genres and formats. Try to emulate and then try to create. First learn as a spectator and then discover your own voice, words and story and you will stand out on your own. It took me a long time to get over my own fear of starting to write a novel. In that time though I was learning and reading and discovering. Once I was ready it was because of the influence and passion I could no longer deny to finally write my own novel. This in turn has led to an outpouring of ideas and creations to follow this first book. So if you are a writer...read and learn, then go out and create. The stories are inside of you just waiting to fall upon the page. As Maya Angelou taught us..."A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song." Unlock your song, or story, and let it sing.
Friday, June 6, 2014
Long Live Words!
As Ernest Hemingway said, "Once writing has become your major vice and greatest pleasure only death can stop it. "
Words. I want to discuss words. Obviously to a writer words are important but I was recently reminded by someone how important words are to me. Ironically, it was due to an argument with an individual who did not believe words were important. As a note of advice to anyone, telling a writer words are not important is like flashing a juicy, red steak to a rabid dog.
I credit musicians with the ability to make people feel through the sounds and music they produce and though a listener may not necessarily understand the notes on the page in front of the musician they can feel emotions such as sadness, happiness, anger, calm, peace, energy. Any number of feelings can be produced by the song they are hearing and it may be a feeling unique to them triggered by a memory or a shared love of a group enjoying the energy.
I credit painters and sculptures and artists of all kinds. The ability to produce an image or shape a piece can move people, make them question, make them give thought and reaction. The viewer may not fully understand the detail and the work that went into the piece of art. They may not understand the techniques used or the artist's motivations. Yet the viewer can be so moved visually, stimulated by sight over an image or sculpture or dance that they can have a physical reaction.
On the other hand, a writer and reader have a symbiotic relationship. The reader needs to understand what the writer is saying through the words. A writer is compelled to express what they are feeling or thinking in those same words. The difference between the writer and reader may be how those words are interpreted but the words are the foundation for both. It is a relationship that ties writer to reader.
I have always been a logophile, which means word lover, and even more a sesquipedalian, a lover of long words. I have often been known to just pick up the dictionary and open it to any page and read the reads until I find one I do not know just to learn a new word. When I left 8th grade my school had a graduation type ceremony and my parents gifted me a red dictionary and a yellow thesaurus. Those are, to this day, books that go with me wherever I live, those and my large anthology of the Complete Works of Shakespeare.
So in response to the individual who tried to say that words are not important but that it was the underlying, hidden meaning that was important, my response is that I respectively but emphatically disagree. Words are like a house. Words are the foundation and the hidden underlying meaning is the interior design. You can not have the inside of a house without a foundation. You can not arrive at a thought or underlying meaning without words.
Words have roots but no boundaries. Words can start wars or end wars. They are a weapon that can kill and heal. They can excite and arouse, anger and abase, elate and sadden, describe, encourage, discourage, create images and fantasy, express love, express hate. They can sooth and caress and teach and entertain. There is no boundaries to how words fit into our lives. Words do not need sound, which if you want someone do sign language can be beautiful, but those signs are based on words. They are symbols and warnings and messages and creations.
Words not important. Ha! In this debate I can not side with that opinion. In fact, I recommend everyone at least once a week open their dictionaries and learn a new word. Go to the library and just stop in front of a book, open to any page and seek a word you may not recognize. The root of words is historical, the boundaries of what words can do endless and the hold it has on each and every one of us is tight. Words do matter. They will live to fight another day and in another way. Long live words!
Words. I want to discuss words. Obviously to a writer words are important but I was recently reminded by someone how important words are to me. Ironically, it was due to an argument with an individual who did not believe words were important. As a note of advice to anyone, telling a writer words are not important is like flashing a juicy, red steak to a rabid dog.
I credit musicians with the ability to make people feel through the sounds and music they produce and though a listener may not necessarily understand the notes on the page in front of the musician they can feel emotions such as sadness, happiness, anger, calm, peace, energy. Any number of feelings can be produced by the song they are hearing and it may be a feeling unique to them triggered by a memory or a shared love of a group enjoying the energy.
I credit painters and sculptures and artists of all kinds. The ability to produce an image or shape a piece can move people, make them question, make them give thought and reaction. The viewer may not fully understand the detail and the work that went into the piece of art. They may not understand the techniques used or the artist's motivations. Yet the viewer can be so moved visually, stimulated by sight over an image or sculpture or dance that they can have a physical reaction.
On the other hand, a writer and reader have a symbiotic relationship. The reader needs to understand what the writer is saying through the words. A writer is compelled to express what they are feeling or thinking in those same words. The difference between the writer and reader may be how those words are interpreted but the words are the foundation for both. It is a relationship that ties writer to reader.
I have always been a logophile, which means word lover, and even more a sesquipedalian, a lover of long words. I have often been known to just pick up the dictionary and open it to any page and read the reads until I find one I do not know just to learn a new word. When I left 8th grade my school had a graduation type ceremony and my parents gifted me a red dictionary and a yellow thesaurus. Those are, to this day, books that go with me wherever I live, those and my large anthology of the Complete Works of Shakespeare.
So in response to the individual who tried to say that words are not important but that it was the underlying, hidden meaning that was important, my response is that I respectively but emphatically disagree. Words are like a house. Words are the foundation and the hidden underlying meaning is the interior design. You can not have the inside of a house without a foundation. You can not arrive at a thought or underlying meaning without words.
Words have roots but no boundaries. Words can start wars or end wars. They are a weapon that can kill and heal. They can excite and arouse, anger and abase, elate and sadden, describe, encourage, discourage, create images and fantasy, express love, express hate. They can sooth and caress and teach and entertain. There is no boundaries to how words fit into our lives. Words do not need sound, which if you want someone do sign language can be beautiful, but those signs are based on words. They are symbols and warnings and messages and creations.
Words not important. Ha! In this debate I can not side with that opinion. In fact, I recommend everyone at least once a week open their dictionaries and learn a new word. Go to the library and just stop in front of a book, open to any page and seek a word you may not recognize. The root of words is historical, the boundaries of what words can do endless and the hold it has on each and every one of us is tight. Words do matter. They will live to fight another day and in another way. Long live words!
Monday, May 19, 2014
The Four Seasons of Writing
I finally put away my winter clothes this past weekend. I held on to them a bit long because it was so cold this winter and I wanted to be prepared if this warm, sunny weather did not really stay around. As I was placing the last sweater out of the way, I realized that each season we all have certain traditions that mark the change of season, the progression of the year, the movement of life.
Spring: I equate Spring as the first real season of the year even though we start the year in Winter. I hate the cold so much I prefer to think of a new year as a new season. Spring makes people feel as if they just woke up from a long nap. The trees are blossoming. If you live in DC, you get a couple weeks of amazing blossoming of the Cherry Blossoms and you feel as if that is the mark that spring has finally arrived. In poems and books spring is about rebirth. It can mean new love or new opportunities. The dark winter has moved to a lightness that you can feel even in people around you.
Summer: We have gotten used to the light and now have to deal with the heat. It is very analogous. Often what attracts us initially has a glow and softened edges. Yet, exposed to the harsh heat and light those same edges are sharp and we did not notice until they had been exposed to the light for a length of time. Summer can be enjoyable and celebratory but just don't forget your sunblock or you will get burned by the light.
Autumn: I love autumn and not just because my birthday is right before the start of autumn. Autumn to me is acceptance and a comfort. We face the bright light and now we can snuggle down to a bit of comfortable warm or coolness. It is not too cold yet, it is no longer too warm. Autumn is the equivalent of the "Three Bears" of seasons...it is just right.
Winter: I enjoy about one week of winter and then I am usually ready for spring. That is not truly fair. We need winter and the cold. I understand the theory of appreciating spring because of winter. I understand the need for the world to hibernate in order to refresh itself. I just wish it wasn't so cold. The one good thing about winter is that it is a perfect time to snuggle under the covers with a good book or a cup of hot chocolate. I can not focus in the winter, not because I am not as distracted by the outdoors but because I feel the need to just sleep like a brown bear. It is darker in the winter and movements feel slower.
Many may disagree with my assessment of the year. That is my assessment of course. As I was pulling out my writing this weekend to work on it, which I have not done in a while, I realized my book was like the seasons. You start the beginning with a promise of a story and an excitement over the possibilities of what you are writing. As you progress you sometimes find yourself searching your characters motivations to know how to continue and may even see the story take a direction for which you were unprepared. That is what happened to me and, though I feel it is better than I initially envisioned, it is still a small internal fight to let go of your initial outline. The characters and motivations were not known initially though and a character's personality can shape how the story progresses as I have learned. Then I got comfortable with the new direction of the story and the words started to fall upon the page easier. I was exhilarated by the new direction but there was a comfort and acceptance in what was occurring and what was ensuing. I am now in the winter of my story though and the harshness of the plot line is revealing itself. The emotions of the characters are raw and revealing. The main action is approaching. I am winding down in the story but before we can get back to Spring we have to go through Winter. Before we can come to the end and the resolution of the action we have to first get through the harsh realities and the emotions of the characters.
I have not been able to write as much because of the depth of the action and emotion has been a bit daunting. I am in the winter of my novel and it has made me want to just snuggle under the covers and shut out the story. It is spring now though and we can once again step outside and see the sunshine. My story has been brought out again and as the winter of the story comes to a close I move closer to the end and the resolution. Writing is just as seasonal and my novel is almost ready for Spring.
Spring: I equate Spring as the first real season of the year even though we start the year in Winter. I hate the cold so much I prefer to think of a new year as a new season. Spring makes people feel as if they just woke up from a long nap. The trees are blossoming. If you live in DC, you get a couple weeks of amazing blossoming of the Cherry Blossoms and you feel as if that is the mark that spring has finally arrived. In poems and books spring is about rebirth. It can mean new love or new opportunities. The dark winter has moved to a lightness that you can feel even in people around you.
Summer: We have gotten used to the light and now have to deal with the heat. It is very analogous. Often what attracts us initially has a glow and softened edges. Yet, exposed to the harsh heat and light those same edges are sharp and we did not notice until they had been exposed to the light for a length of time. Summer can be enjoyable and celebratory but just don't forget your sunblock or you will get burned by the light.
Autumn: I love autumn and not just because my birthday is right before the start of autumn. Autumn to me is acceptance and a comfort. We face the bright light and now we can snuggle down to a bit of comfortable warm or coolness. It is not too cold yet, it is no longer too warm. Autumn is the equivalent of the "Three Bears" of seasons...it is just right.
Winter: I enjoy about one week of winter and then I am usually ready for spring. That is not truly fair. We need winter and the cold. I understand the theory of appreciating spring because of winter. I understand the need for the world to hibernate in order to refresh itself. I just wish it wasn't so cold. The one good thing about winter is that it is a perfect time to snuggle under the covers with a good book or a cup of hot chocolate. I can not focus in the winter, not because I am not as distracted by the outdoors but because I feel the need to just sleep like a brown bear. It is darker in the winter and movements feel slower.
Many may disagree with my assessment of the year. That is my assessment of course. As I was pulling out my writing this weekend to work on it, which I have not done in a while, I realized my book was like the seasons. You start the beginning with a promise of a story and an excitement over the possibilities of what you are writing. As you progress you sometimes find yourself searching your characters motivations to know how to continue and may even see the story take a direction for which you were unprepared. That is what happened to me and, though I feel it is better than I initially envisioned, it is still a small internal fight to let go of your initial outline. The characters and motivations were not known initially though and a character's personality can shape how the story progresses as I have learned. Then I got comfortable with the new direction of the story and the words started to fall upon the page easier. I was exhilarated by the new direction but there was a comfort and acceptance in what was occurring and what was ensuing. I am now in the winter of my story though and the harshness of the plot line is revealing itself. The emotions of the characters are raw and revealing. The main action is approaching. I am winding down in the story but before we can get back to Spring we have to go through Winter. Before we can come to the end and the resolution of the action we have to first get through the harsh realities and the emotions of the characters.
I have not been able to write as much because of the depth of the action and emotion has been a bit daunting. I am in the winter of my novel and it has made me want to just snuggle under the covers and shut out the story. It is spring now though and we can once again step outside and see the sunshine. My story has been brought out again and as the winter of the story comes to a close I move closer to the end and the resolution. Writing is just as seasonal and my novel is almost ready for Spring.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
When Writing Becomes Mt. Kilimanjaro
How do you climb that mountain when you are look up at it from the bottom and it seems so big? You made the long trek to the mountain. You know you have to scale to the top and then work your way back down the other side. At the bottom of the other side is the end of your journey and the golden gates you had been searching for all along. Yet, the mountain looms before you, daunting in its size and seeming to grow bigger as you stare at it.
That is what goes through my mind as I try to work on the current chapter of my book. I have been working on this chapter for a long time. Of course my busy work schedule has also added a barrier to working on it . I have arrived to the chapter where much of the emotional, pinnacle secrets that one of the characters held close are revealed. These secrets will then lead to the emotional rift in the relationship and act as a catalyst for the main action. The chapter and its events are the stepping stones to the main action of the story. That is a lot of pressure for one little chapter and one little character.
When I was young a group of us would all play together. One of those times we all lay down on the ground and stared up into the beautiful blue sky. I noticed as I stared at it the sky felt as if it were getting closer and at the same time getting bigger. It would make me dizzy watching it seemingly change before my eyes. Yet, nothing changed but my own perspective. It was my own feeling of smallness and inadequacy at something so big that made it grow.
Recently, when I was talking with a friend, I was commenting that I felt as if I had writer's block and did not know how I was ever going to finish. I began discussing the book and its theme and realized that I could describe the action, the characters and even the ending. So, what was holding me back from writing this one chapter? The emotion and the idea that it was the start of the main action. I made the idea so much bigger in my head that even the words seemed small to describe and say what I wanted. I turned the one scene into a mountain when really it was just a small hill that leads to another hill. I was thinking of the scene as it related to the ultimate action. I was not looking at it as just another scene that led to the another path and another scene.
In my description to my friend I also made the realization that the emotional action between the two characters who are sisters was also causing some of the reticence for writing it. I have no real problem writing fight scenes between two sisters. After all, I have two sisters of my own and plenty of experience in fighting with them to recall. I have plenty of experience in arguing our differences very loudly and forcefully. Yet, these two characters are part of me. Each girl is a part of who I am, one more than the other. It was more like I was putting myself and my own fallacies onto the page than that of a character in my head. Writing is a great therapist until what you fear most is the actual written out form of yourself. This is not like placing your innermost thoughts in a journal. It is more like opening up your head and letting the world see all the crazy synapses you have going on inside.
So, the question is how do you look at the mountain and see it isn't as big as you think? Frankly, I do not have a definitive answer for that question other than you take a deep breath, find a quiet moment, and just start to write. It may start slow and still feel a bit as if you were scaling Mt. Kilimanjaro but the top of that writing mountain will appear closer with each word. Besides, there is always editing and rewriting. Just get the original thoughts down initially and you can go back and change the way it moves later. In order to get to the next chapter you have to take it one word at a time and get through this one first. If you have the framework of this chapter done you can always change the flow and design through editing. Release some of the pressure. Lighten your load because there will be other mountains to scale in the future and more words to push you forward to the top.
That is what goes through my mind as I try to work on the current chapter of my book. I have been working on this chapter for a long time. Of course my busy work schedule has also added a barrier to working on it . I have arrived to the chapter where much of the emotional, pinnacle secrets that one of the characters held close are revealed. These secrets will then lead to the emotional rift in the relationship and act as a catalyst for the main action. The chapter and its events are the stepping stones to the main action of the story. That is a lot of pressure for one little chapter and one little character.
When I was young a group of us would all play together. One of those times we all lay down on the ground and stared up into the beautiful blue sky. I noticed as I stared at it the sky felt as if it were getting closer and at the same time getting bigger. It would make me dizzy watching it seemingly change before my eyes. Yet, nothing changed but my own perspective. It was my own feeling of smallness and inadequacy at something so big that made it grow.
Recently, when I was talking with a friend, I was commenting that I felt as if I had writer's block and did not know how I was ever going to finish. I began discussing the book and its theme and realized that I could describe the action, the characters and even the ending. So, what was holding me back from writing this one chapter? The emotion and the idea that it was the start of the main action. I made the idea so much bigger in my head that even the words seemed small to describe and say what I wanted. I turned the one scene into a mountain when really it was just a small hill that leads to another hill. I was thinking of the scene as it related to the ultimate action. I was not looking at it as just another scene that led to the another path and another scene.
In my description to my friend I also made the realization that the emotional action between the two characters who are sisters was also causing some of the reticence for writing it. I have no real problem writing fight scenes between two sisters. After all, I have two sisters of my own and plenty of experience in fighting with them to recall. I have plenty of experience in arguing our differences very loudly and forcefully. Yet, these two characters are part of me. Each girl is a part of who I am, one more than the other. It was more like I was putting myself and my own fallacies onto the page than that of a character in my head. Writing is a great therapist until what you fear most is the actual written out form of yourself. This is not like placing your innermost thoughts in a journal. It is more like opening up your head and letting the world see all the crazy synapses you have going on inside.
So, the question is how do you look at the mountain and see it isn't as big as you think? Frankly, I do not have a definitive answer for that question other than you take a deep breath, find a quiet moment, and just start to write. It may start slow and still feel a bit as if you were scaling Mt. Kilimanjaro but the top of that writing mountain will appear closer with each word. Besides, there is always editing and rewriting. Just get the original thoughts down initially and you can go back and change the way it moves later. In order to get to the next chapter you have to take it one word at a time and get through this one first. If you have the framework of this chapter done you can always change the flow and design through editing. Release some of the pressure. Lighten your load because there will be other mountains to scale in the future and more words to push you forward to the top.
Friday, March 14, 2014
The Criminality of Procrastination
I recently read something from Fran Lebowitz when I was trying to procrastinate on my own writing that called me out on my procrastination and made me realize that most of procrastination is a self-made emotional problem.
"Not writing is more of a psychological problem than a writing problem. All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. ... It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. Especially when it goes on for years. It's much more relaxing actually to work."
Often procrastination is not about writer's block or even too much work, it is about an emotional block. I sometimes like to call that the Twitter Block. Simple ways to distract yourself from writing in this fast-paced, social media world with Twitter and Facebook and Instagram as an avoidance of dealing with characters or the way a story is unfolding.
The problem with giving in to that procrastination and finding ways to distract you away from your writing is that it does feel almost criminal after a while. You start to feel bad about not writing but not enough to stop the procrastination until it feels almost "criminal" as Fran Lebowitz described. Your fingers being to ache to hold a pen, your brain starts to move a million miles, jumping from topic to topic, idea to idea, character to character. All trying to push you and pull you and get you to just sit down and WRITE!
Then, when you feel you can't take anymore you shut off the computer, you turn off the TV, you close the distractions in your mind and you sit down. You sit down and take up your pen and put it against the paper and the words start to pour out of you. You feel the movement of the pen and hear it pass over the page in a noise so familiar to your ears it is like comfort. Pages and pages fall to the side filled with the progressing story and the interesting lives of your characters. You stop only when your hand begins to hurt and your brain, energized by the release of ideas, begins to tire from the constant motion of the story.
Finally, you lean back in the chair and feel yourself give a sigh. That procrastination feeling has gone, at least for this day, and the constant whisper in your ear to write has been silenced. You are no longer the criminal procrastinator and you feel a bit at peace with the idea that the writing police you imagined tracking and chasing you with each tick tock of the clock as you ignored your writing, they have now been satisfied. No more writer's jail for you only writing. It is amazing what pressures a writer puts on themselves. They become their worst enemies when they know they want to or need to write and yet find ways to sabotage themselves. A creative mind is always moving. It is trying to make sure it is moving towards productivity and not procrastination that may sometimes be a challenge. To that, as I have fallen into this trap many times myself, I offer only this one piece of advice...
Stop, Breath, Write!
"Not writing is more of a psychological problem than a writing problem. All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. ... It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. Especially when it goes on for years. It's much more relaxing actually to work."
Often procrastination is not about writer's block or even too much work, it is about an emotional block. I sometimes like to call that the Twitter Block. Simple ways to distract yourself from writing in this fast-paced, social media world with Twitter and Facebook and Instagram as an avoidance of dealing with characters or the way a story is unfolding.
The problem with giving in to that procrastination and finding ways to distract you away from your writing is that it does feel almost criminal after a while. You start to feel bad about not writing but not enough to stop the procrastination until it feels almost "criminal" as Fran Lebowitz described. Your fingers being to ache to hold a pen, your brain starts to move a million miles, jumping from topic to topic, idea to idea, character to character. All trying to push you and pull you and get you to just sit down and WRITE!
Then, when you feel you can't take anymore you shut off the computer, you turn off the TV, you close the distractions in your mind and you sit down. You sit down and take up your pen and put it against the paper and the words start to pour out of you. You feel the movement of the pen and hear it pass over the page in a noise so familiar to your ears it is like comfort. Pages and pages fall to the side filled with the progressing story and the interesting lives of your characters. You stop only when your hand begins to hurt and your brain, energized by the release of ideas, begins to tire from the constant motion of the story.
Finally, you lean back in the chair and feel yourself give a sigh. That procrastination feeling has gone, at least for this day, and the constant whisper in your ear to write has been silenced. You are no longer the criminal procrastinator and you feel a bit at peace with the idea that the writing police you imagined tracking and chasing you with each tick tock of the clock as you ignored your writing, they have now been satisfied. No more writer's jail for you only writing. It is amazing what pressures a writer puts on themselves. They become their worst enemies when they know they want to or need to write and yet find ways to sabotage themselves. A creative mind is always moving. It is trying to make sure it is moving towards productivity and not procrastination that may sometimes be a challenge. To that, as I have fallen into this trap many times myself, I offer only this one piece of advice...
Stop, Breath, Write!
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Stuck Between Re-Editing and Re-Writing
I have been stuck at home in the snow, overwhelmed with work projects and trying to keep my life in order which is a hard task as a single, working mother. Unfortunately certain areas of life have fallen to the wayside because of this. One of those would be my personal writing. I have done plenty of thinking of the characters and the story. They are familiar companions at this point. What I have done little of is actual writing.
The other day when I was thinking of my writing though I started to envision, not the continuation of the story and where I had left it off, but rather a new beginning. I started to re-write the beginning with the idea that it would flow better with the story line which may be true but it got me to wondering when we look back to what we have written because we are stuck and can not move forward where we are in our current writing. I think in life everyone does this. They are scared to move forward or don't know what the next step will be and so it is easy to fall back to the past as a comfort because it is done and completed and the results already proven.
The problem with not moving forward with the story and going back to the beginning is that it is easy to convince yourself that you are just editing or re-editing so that the work can flow better. In reality you are re-writing and then the inevitable feeling that the story has become too chaotic and unfocused. You want to move forward with Chapter Twenty-Five (as in my case) but the only thing you are thinking about is the beginning and re-writing it.
Stop! Breathe! Then ask yourself these questions:
1. Is this really necessary now or am I avoiding a difficult passage by re-creating an old one?
2. Will it add value to the story? If you are going to return to the beginning and re-write entire passages before you are ready to edit the book fully is it because you know it will add value to the story. Think carefully because when you finish the initial writing process and the book is completed so that you begin to edit, is that the first place you go to again re-create it.
3. Why now? Sometimes going back though can be good because it gives you insight into how to move forward. If you answered the first two questions or, decided to ignore the answers, maybe what you want most is a way to get through a difficult passage. The current chapter I am on currently is very emotional and revealing and the strength of all the sentiments may be holding me down and unable to know how to proceed and get through the emotion. Focusing on another area may do just that and give a push or insight on how to progress.
Overall, I think it is common for anyone to want to look backwards in order to move forward. We all learn from our past mistakes, or hope to. This includes characters in a story. Their lives are linear just as ours. If a character is written right they become real to the author and those characters' lives are just like ours where they have ambitions and contentions and life stories to overcome. Maybe it is best then to not look back until you get to the end and the true editing process begins. I think we all have a bit of Lot's wife in us though...we yearn to look back at what we know and not forward to what we don't even if we know it will turn us into a pillar of salt.
The other day when I was thinking of my writing though I started to envision, not the continuation of the story and where I had left it off, but rather a new beginning. I started to re-write the beginning with the idea that it would flow better with the story line which may be true but it got me to wondering when we look back to what we have written because we are stuck and can not move forward where we are in our current writing. I think in life everyone does this. They are scared to move forward or don't know what the next step will be and so it is easy to fall back to the past as a comfort because it is done and completed and the results already proven.
The problem with not moving forward with the story and going back to the beginning is that it is easy to convince yourself that you are just editing or re-editing so that the work can flow better. In reality you are re-writing and then the inevitable feeling that the story has become too chaotic and unfocused. You want to move forward with Chapter Twenty-Five (as in my case) but the only thing you are thinking about is the beginning and re-writing it.
Stop! Breathe! Then ask yourself these questions:
1. Is this really necessary now or am I avoiding a difficult passage by re-creating an old one?
2. Will it add value to the story? If you are going to return to the beginning and re-write entire passages before you are ready to edit the book fully is it because you know it will add value to the story. Think carefully because when you finish the initial writing process and the book is completed so that you begin to edit, is that the first place you go to again re-create it.
3. Why now? Sometimes going back though can be good because it gives you insight into how to move forward. If you answered the first two questions or, decided to ignore the answers, maybe what you want most is a way to get through a difficult passage. The current chapter I am on currently is very emotional and revealing and the strength of all the sentiments may be holding me down and unable to know how to proceed and get through the emotion. Focusing on another area may do just that and give a push or insight on how to progress.
Overall, I think it is common for anyone to want to look backwards in order to move forward. We all learn from our past mistakes, or hope to. This includes characters in a story. Their lives are linear just as ours. If a character is written right they become real to the author and those characters' lives are just like ours where they have ambitions and contentions and life stories to overcome. Maybe it is best then to not look back until you get to the end and the true editing process begins. I think we all have a bit of Lot's wife in us though...we yearn to look back at what we know and not forward to what we don't even if we know it will turn us into a pillar of salt.
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