Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Forgotten


Promise
I walked through the crowd
I traveled around the planet
Invisible, unnoticed
You found the key
That opened my Earth
You turned on the light
That scared away the darkness
You walked through my rooms
Bringing in the sunlight
Leaving with the moonlight
Taking all of me with you.

Illusion
I lived in your eyes
I found myself in your words
So soft so sweet
I dreamed those dreams
Inside your smile
I listened to our hearts
Within your arms
Was it realization I found?
Or was it just imagination
On the tip of your invisible wand?
Magician trickery ends in heartache.


Invisible
The weight of a smile
Sits heavy on my face
The blood coursing through my veins
Like waves from a hurricane hitting the shores
The wind in the trees
Sinister pieces of fate
Was our happiness an illusion?
Was it joy that gave me breath
Or was the fear my stimulant?
Was it really the sadness that gave me depth
Was it the heartache that gave me strength?

Empty
I have no heart that beats
I have no sound in my voice
I sliced through the corded veins
I threw out the shards of glass
That used to resemble a heart
There is no feeling
No taste, no sight
I lie stripped of it all
Naked and exposed
The sweet ecstasy of pain
This was the whispers of my fate.

It is so cold
But I feel it naught
It is so dark
But I have no care
The Earth lies on top
The universe is below
No stars, no moon, no sun, abyss
Your words cut too deep
And left me rotting
Alone and forever asleep
Left buried from sight
Forgotten

 
 
 

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

A Good Recipe For Winter...Writer's Stew

"God grant me patience, but could you hurry it up."

Patience...that dreaded word. There are so many times in life we are given the lesson of patience. Driving to work in rush hour traffic, waiting in lines, waiting for life to figure itself out, holidays, days off from work or school, the coffeepot to finish brewing.  Life seems to hand out daily lessons in an effort for us to become more patient. This is difficult in this social-media, real-time news, have it now, consequences be damned society that has emerged. Yet, as a writer I am once again reminded of the lesson on patience.

I have spoken often on my self-designed process of writing.  I write a chapter, edit said chapter, and then put the chapter away.  Wash, rinse, repeat style of writing in a sense. After the book is completed, I will then do a large edit to make sure the story flows in a well thought out manner. In fact, the closer I get to the end of the book, the more I am recalling the beginning and how I can edit it for just that purpose.  I created this plan so that I do not get mired down in the editing.  Writing is often easier.  You sit down, put pen to paper and write, write, write.  You may not worry about grammar or precision when you are writing.  That is the job of editing, thus, editing takes longer.  When editing, there is slow reading, slower re-reading, inserting and deleting, moving, changing, and of course the dreaded comma.  There are decisions being made when you edit.  Your brain is divided between being not just a writer, but also a reader, and an editor.   This occurs over and over again until you see the words, "The End."

One of the things I have discovered in this writing process for my first novel is that if you write too many chapters without stopping to do any revisions then the dreaded, long editing process takes forever.  The writing gets set aside longer than it should or would normally because of the time it takes to make any changes becomes stretched out.  However, I also find that if you write a chapter and then edit it immediately there is a certain amount of polishing that is not accomplished.  It is good to write a chapter and then set it aside, not for too long, but maybe a day or even a week.  When you go to finally do the edits on that chapter you are looking at it with fresher eyes and a ready pen.  If you edit too quickly you are still too engrossed in the writing and details of that chapter.

This sounds backwards or counter-intuitive to many possibly. You may think it is better to rework the chapter when you are still within the characters and sequences.  When your brain is still plotting out the actions.  For some this may be true.  I have found, though, that it is better to start the next chapter which guarantees a good flow from one chapter to the next while setting aside the previously finished chapter. After a few days I go back to that completed section and I see it with fresher eyes. 

Editing is like making a good stew.  You can not add all the ingredients at once and then expect it to be done instantly. You add each ingredient one at a time. Then you let it simmer for a while.  When you come back to the pot, the stew is warmer, tastier and you know if it needs more salt.  You add the salt or any other ingredient you feel would make that stew better. Editing is letting the chapter simmer for a bit, coming back to it and adding in the seasoning that may have been lacking initially.

The problem, however, is the waiting.  Patience is not my favorite thing to practice.  I finished Chapter Twenty-Six and instantly wanted to do the editing in my excitement of having it completed and placed in the book.  I was still engrossed in the activities and characters of that chapter and wanted to go back and polish right away.  My fingers were aching to take the pen and slash and add. This is where patience comes in handy.  Instead, I am starting Chapter Twenty-Seven and I have set aside Twenty-Six, at least for a couple of days. It is sometimes hard to start a new chapter when you feel like the previous one is not fully complete but this again is where patience comes in good form.  I am letting the chapter simmer and when I do finally return to it I will know just what needs to be added or taken out to make it more seasoned.

Writing a chapter is like a recipe for Writer's Stew.  Write, simmer, edit, add seasoning and finally enjoy the results of a completed chapter and eventually a completed book. A true writer knows that writing a book takes creativity, work and a heaping tablespoon of patience and endurance.  At the end of all the hard work you have a completed book to enjoy and with luck so will the reader. So curl up, relax and enjoy because this Writer's Stew is simmering but it is also nearing completion.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

The Excellence of Heartbreak

Oscar Wilde said, "The heart was made to be broken." Well, I can attest to that, especially lately. However, it is this same heartache that gives the writer the experience to be able to write. Writers being of artistic temperament often seem to experience life through hardships. How they deal with those hardships is often to give it meaning by writing it down, putting it into a story, attaching it to a character. Writer's learn their craft by practicing at life and experiencing both highs and lows in all events.

I recently finished chapter twenty five and am about half way through chapter twenty six. Emotion is a tricky thing. When you are feeling happy sometimes you become less productive than when you are experiencing loss and extreme sorrow. Creativity finds its outlet for happiness by releasing the thoughts of the lows it seems sometimes easier because it wants to hold on and cherish the highs. But, when the good times are memories and the difficult times are the present one way to get through the pain is with creativity.  Writing is the outlet for which writers can heal.

I don't know if Oscar Wilde was correct that hearts were made to be broken because it seems a worldly imbalance to think a heart needs to be broken to grow and experience and learn and become stronger. Yet, that does appear the way of the world. In chapter twenty five one of the main characters is learning the lesson on heartache. She comes across the other side of it ready for action but it made the chapter easier to get through once I could place my pen on the page and write away my own feelings of loss at the time.

Often writing the intensely emotional scenes are just that, intensely emotional. The writer and the characters have very symbiotic relationships. The characters are real for the writer and the author becomes a therapist for them and in sequentially for themselves. I do not advocate seeking out heartbreak in order to be a better writer by any means. However, when already immersed in emotions in your own physical world it is easier to escape and experience the emotions within the imaginary world.  Placing those emotions on a character who seems real to you releases the intensity and instead allows the creativity to set in.  In conjunction, the character and their motivations and their storyline has an air of authenticity about it. 

Writing intense emotions can work the other way though as well. When the character is experiencing a key moment in the story with deeply personal undertones those emotions can transfer to the writer as well.  Often this comes in the form of then producing a "block" in the creativity as the writer is sorting through emotions and trying to guarantee validity in the storyline and the emotional force of a scene.  I have discussed this writer's block in the past and have greatly experienced it as I maneuver my way around these end chapters and the climax of the story.

For many writers, including this one, writing becomes a therapist, a friend, a transference, an intermediary and a savior in a sense.  So, Mr. Wilde, yes, the heart may have indeed been made to be broken but I take heart in another author's words about writing as a therapeutic tool, and an author who understood both personally and professionally the strength emotions can have over a person, Sylvia Plath.  She said, "Perhaps some day I'll crawl back home, beaten, defeated.  But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorry." 

I may be a bit beaten and defeated, weary of the battle, but I am dragging myself home and finding beauty in rediscovering my characters, my story, my own self.